Super-Teammates!

Sometimes when I talk about couples being on the ‘same team’ I have no clue what I mean. A lot of the time, it just feels like we’re trying to just survive. But, then I realized it was about so much more than that. Have you seen The Incredibles?

We’re all super-heroes, with specific skills and powers. But we also come with weaknesses and our own forms of kryptonite.

A great marriage teammate owns their superhero-like qualities. You know what you bring to the table. You know that who you are and what you do is valuable to the people in your home.

A great marriage teammate knows their limits. You know you can’t run as fast as Dash or stretch as far as Elastigirl. You don’t let your limitations stop you, but you build a life that acknowledges them.

A great marriage team has a shared goal, even if at times it is just about surviving. And I’m just going to repeat this: It’s a shared goal. SHARED. Not just one person’s idea of what life is going to look like. SHARED. Like y’all talked about it, got honest about it, made pros and cons lists, and said, “Go team!” at the end before uniting your rings to bring your powers together to summon CAPTAIN PLANET!!!!!

Sorry. Got a little carried away there. But you get the point.

Own your strengths and weaknesses. 

If I Were A Plant…

Taking care of a plant can take a lot of work, but the hardest part is following the directions for what that plan actually needs to grow and flourish. And, much like people, not every plant requires the same amount of water, sun, or fertilizer.

I’m like a cattail. I need a lot of <s>water</s>attention.

I feel love in the form of physical touch and quality time. I like being held after a long day or cuddles right before bed. Getting my back scratched will more than guarantee my blossoms to bloom. And the funny thing is, the more my Love Plant is taken care of, the more I’ll want to make sure my husband’s grows, too.

I don’t need presents or surprise date-nights or to be welcomed home with you doing the laundry or finally cleaning your skid marks off the toilet. That’s not my thing– but maybe that’s yours!

Being aware of what fills your love “fern” can make a world of difference in your marriage because, sometimes, when you’re feeling particularly annoyed… it’s just because you’re running on E. So my suggestion is to make your own list of what it takes to keep you happy in your home/marriage/family and share it with your spouse. It can be very eye opening and make some of the biggest impacts in your relationship. Being able to come home and tell Shawn that I just need a hug instead of letting random things (that don’t matter) get under my skin and blowing up… can you just imagine how much happier and stronger our relationship will become?

Is that not something that we all want to accomplish? Being able to pinpoint what we need instead of sitting there in disappointment and frustration is refreshing.

 

Episode # 005 – Pooping

I think the title says it all. Today we’re talking about pooping (and not pooping) around your spouse, marriage-poop etiquette, and if there is an underlying reason for not pooping around your spouse. (Melissa includes a response to the above-mentioned article that will either make you think she’s crazy or hilarious (but really just somewhere in-between).

And, although we agree that there usually aren’t any underlying issues when you’re unable to poop around your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend, we do mention how a healthy digestive system is kinda like healthy fighting in a different blog post.  It’s definitely a good read for the next time you take the throne.

Episode #004 – Proposals + How To Get Engaged

In this episode, we talk about our proposals and how to make sure that each step you take in your relationship is the right step for the both of you. There are many factors that should be considered when you’re thinking about spending the rest of your life with someone; if you can’t have these serious, “adult” conversations, then maybe it’s time to have a hard look at the person across the table from you.

Because this subject can be a little hairy, we created a few tips on how to have those hard conversations to make sure you’re in the right mindset and environment to work together as a team. And once you’ve decided to have these important sit-down meetings to discuss where you are in your relationship, take a peek at these questions to ask one another before getting engaged or married.

Episode #003 – Ex S/Os + Jealousy

We have all experienced jealousy at one point or another, regardless of being the “jealous type” or not. And if you swear you’ve never been jealous before, check out this article to see if you’re a smidge more jealous than you let yourself believe. 

Anyway. Whether it was because you thought your spouse still has feelings for their ex or because you think they’re checking out other people; we’ve all been there. It hurts and it sucks, and we all definitely dwell on it an unhealthy amount.

In our latest podcast (Episode #003 Ex S/Os + Jealousy) we get into advice for people who struggle with jealousy. Although we both hate the sage advice of “give it time,” we must recognize that it is true. However, we do have some action steps that are helpful for those of you that want take strides to nip jealousy in the butt faster.

A Look at Comfort + 10 years

There’s this kind of solid familiarity that comes with being in a long marriage. It’s definitely different than the newness of of marriage, regardless of how long you two dated beforehand.

Your S/O becomes your blanket. The one you always reach for before bed, the one that drifts you into a deep, safe sleep. And a new marriage is kinda like the new toy, you can’t stop talking about it and showing it off. Like, did ya hear?! I’m marriedThis is my husbandLook!!!

meu malvado favorito film GIF

And then ten years and two kids happen. And your new toy turns into this lighthouse. A beacon. The light that guides you come after the sh*t day at the office, a crazy 6 year old, and a really rude McDonalds drive-way attendant (you asked for extra sauce and they only gave you 2 packs.)

Anyway. That’s what I’m excited for. I’m excited to hear Marie’s marriage stories because it comes with a sense of knowing and comfort that I don’t (and yes I love Shawn and feel completely and totally safe/secure with him, but I feel like everyone who has been in the Marriage Game for awhile knows what I’m talking about) know yet.

So getting this perspective is a blessing. It tames me when I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. It reminds me that we’re all probably going through the same stupid arguments. And it teaches me to always choose to love authentically; it’s the only thing that will get us through this madness of life.