Episode # 020 – Love Languages, and Zodiac Signs, and Meyer Briggs– Oh My!

Today’s podcast is going to talk about how we like to be loved. It’s how your Love Plant or Love Tank is filled and fed, if you will. One of the best ways to see what truly fills you up is to take the Love Language Quiz. This shows you the 5 major ways that people show and want to receive love, and it can be such a relationship saver to know these foundational details about yourself and your spouse.

And if you’re more a personality test believer, we show you all the different ways the Meyer Briggs personality types act in a relationship.

Episode # 017 – Valentines Day Is For LOSERS

Do you love Valentine’s Day? Or are you a grinch like Melissa and Marie? Today’s episode talks about The Worst present Marie got for Valentine’s Day, the only present Melissa got, and how we both agree that Valentine’s Day is for the birds.

We both agree that there a many reasons why we don’t celebrate it. Not only is it on our mom’s birthday, but we also discuss how it’s a Mean Girl holiday.
[Disclaimer: we do realize that there are nice girls out that that just love celebrating love. #doyoubooboo]

Share your thoughts and Valentine’s Day plans with us on Instagram (@sisterwivespodcast) You’ll also be able to find a picture of Marie’s hilariously horrible Valentine’s Day present.

Episode # 011 – Hobbies

Hobbies can be a great way to connect with your spouse. They can also be a great way to annoy your spouse. Today Melissa and Marie talk about the hobbies their men have, their own hobbies (or lack thereof), and how pretending to be into a hobby could possibly kill you.

And for those of you that are a lot like Marie and Melissa, we’re here to tell you you’re not alone. … Obviously. We get it. Hobbies sound intimidating, honestly. And we’re very low-pressure kind of people, you feel me. I feel like “hobbies” are strictly reserved for people who obsess over their “thing.” Like, stamp collectors and knitting-clubs. But I know that they don’t have to be that serious or time-intensive. I’ve come to realize that hobbies are just things that you genuinely enjoy doing in your spare time or have a true interest in it. We’ve created a list of reasons on why you need hobbies aka just something you enjoy doing and that you carve out time for. It tends to be therapeutic and can actually create some interesting friendships. 

And for those of you that are wanting to find that list of weird hobbies that I talk about in the podcast, check it out here. Maybe you and your tots will become avid toy-voyagers.

Marriage Boredom

Today is January 29th, 2018, and today is my husband’s birthday today. Shawn and I have been married for a little over 3 months now, so I can safely say that I’m still in the rose-colored glasses phases. Like, even when he’s pooping with the door open I still think he’s the cat’s meow. I love him. I still gush about him to my mom and I follow him around everywhere. He’s my favorite person in the entire world. Seriously.

But, last night, something happened that made me realize that this really fun and loving feeling doesn’t last forever. Not naturally.

We went out to eat for Shawn’s birthday with his family living in Alpharetta, GA last night. It was a really fancy steak-house in the middle of Avalon, the high-end shopping center. Oaks Steakhouse was magical. It has a beautiful interior, with a very woodsman-feeling to it. It just smelled expensive in there, and I hadn’t even looked at the menu yet.

Once we were all seated, I saw that each steak was around (or above) $60. This was literally the fanciest place I had ever been in my entire life, I didn’t know what we had done to deserve this. But I was excited and seriously so grateful that Uncle John was footing the bill.

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Everything about Oaks Steakhouse was perfect. The servers were really kind, the beer was delicious, and the food… There aren’t enough words to describe how great the food was. Once I started to eat, I was just obsessed. I didn’t pay attention to the conversation around me. I mean, I barely even said two words to Shawn at that point. I was enthralled. It was legitimately the best food I had ever tasted in my entire life. I really think that I’ll talk about this restaurant to everyone I meet if they ever ask me for a recommendation for a special event. On the way home, Shawn and I left G+ reviews. I mean it when I say we are obsessed.

However, while I’m sitting there having my mind blown by the perfect of their brussle sprouts, another family comes in and sits close to us. It’s a mom, dad, daughter, and son. Nothing terribly special. The son, however, is wearing a hoodie and blue jeans. Shawn and I aren’t ones to usually dress up for things. If he could, he would’ve worn gym-shorts and Chacos to this restaurant if he could. But he didn’t, and I thank him for that.

But, back to this kid. He’s wearing a hoodie and jeans and has headphones in pretty much the entire time. He barely interacts with his family and he only takes one headphone out to order his food and then immediately goes back to whatever it was he was doing. And when he finally got his food out, it didn’t seem like he was having the same magical moment that I was having just minutes ago. He ate it like it was a normal meal. I didn’t see him mouth “wow” once. Not. Even. Once. I was astonished.

Now, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t an attack on Millenials and their use + abuse of technology. I’m not ragging on this kid because he obviously has no people-skills. Literally, I don’t care about any of that (that was all of us when we were 15– attitude + sas.) The reason that I bring this kid up is because it made me have this weird revelation.

Our experiences at this same restaurant with (almost) the same meal were drastically different. And, somehow, this made me think of marriage.

When you first become married or first start to date, we all know what happens– you get swept up in the honeymoon-phase. It’s fun, loving, and new. It’s always rainbows and butterflies; it seems like you’re just floating through life as a princess (or prince). We all know that feeling. It’s a lot like my experience with Oaks Steakhouse.

I was love-struck. I would swear up and down that there is not a better restaurant in the entire city state. And I mean it. I couldn’t focus on anything else but that food. The rest of the world melted away and I focused, almost entirely, on the feeling this food gave me. I was obsessed.

And this kid, a table away, was eating it like he was at O’Charley’s and it wasn’t even free-pie-Wednesday. He was kinda like the post-honeymoon phase. When you get into the rhythm of life and you’re not as impressed with them as you once were. It’s not longer charming that “your bond is so strong” that he will poop in the same bathroom that you’re showering in. His hot-headed nature won’t be seen as passion anymore. The onion is peeled back, layer by layer and you see it all. And now Oaks Steakhouse isn’t this magical experience anymore. You’re not salivating at the thought of it and you’re really not that impressed with their broccoli. It was kinda salty. Honestly, you’re bored.

What I’m trying to say is that sometimes your marriage isn’t this boring, run-of-the-mill relationship that you’re portraying in your mind. Maybe you’ve just become used to the 5-star restaurant and you’re finding yourself unimpressed because you’ve noticed what goes on behind the scenes. You’ve been there so many times that you know that the third booth along the wall has a small rip in it and they still haven’t replaced it. You noticed the mismatched silverware (gasp!) and today there was a chip on your waiter’s shoulder.

Being in any long-term relationship is bound to bring this out in us. We’re no longer searching for the best in our marriages. We aren’t obsessed with one another. We think that this spark is gone and fail to realize that the only thing that has changed is the way you’re looking at the relationship.

So I really do encourage everyone to take a step back and look at your spouse as if it were the first time. Put more enthusiasm into your relationship and slow down and enjoy the moment you’re in and who you’re with. Like many (smarter + more experienced) people before me have said: love is a choice.

Episode # 010 – Couple Crushes

We’re not saying that Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have it figured out completely, but I think that there’s a reason that they’re happy, thriving, and still together through the madness of, not only marriage, but being frickin celebrities. From surprising her with sloths to admitting that their fighting use to be toxic, this couple gives us some great criteria on how to be a power couple

And ok. I (Melissa) couldn’t find much about Jessica being a philanthropist. But I did see that she was a big supporter for the #TimesUp movement going on. So, honestly, that’s good enough for me.

And I (Marie) told you so #hotaccountant. And here is what Dax said about Kristen/Kirsten/Christine said about her being too happy. I loved it.

Episode # 009 – Man v. The (not that bad) Cold

Everyone gets sick every now and then, but the real question is who is the bigger baby. There have been some articles floating around the interwebs about how men really do get sicker than women.

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And even if there is “science” to prove they <s>are weaker than us</s> do get sicker, how many of us actually baby their man-child? Surprisingly, Marie tells us in this podcast that she lets Mark fend for himself.

With that being said, in this episode we talk about who gets taken care of the most, weird remedies, and our go-to comfort foods and medicines when we’re sick. We’ve also compiled a list of the above-mentioned for the next time you or your spouse get the sniffles!

Episode #007 – Setting Goals

As a follow-up to our Getting on the Same Page (Episode #006), Marie and Melissa talk about how setting goals prepares you and your marriage for success. Without a goal in-mind, it’s easy for paths to diverge and find yourself thinking “how did we end up here?”

We also take a closer look at goals we’ve set personally. Melissa has made it her mission to continually feed Shawn’s love plant every week by leaving him random thank-you notes. This is inspired by his love language: words of affirmation. During the podcast, Marie even comes up with her new, personal goal to help feed her relationship and Mark’s love plant (carving out specific, uninterrupted time for him once a week).

So. Because this topic is so, SO, SO important, and constantly glossed over, we’ve also created a pdf of some sample goals you can set as a team, for yourself, and for other areas of your life.